11:47 Friday

Boy do we ever!!! So much has happened since I last wrote. I will try to share as much as possible. Some of it good and some of it bad but right now things are really really wonderful. I have experienced joy again. 

Currently I am on 1050 mg of lithium. we worked our way up from the 300mg. My levels weren't high enough. It took a long time to take effect. I also found some feelings of agitation everytime the made a change. But now am finding some stability. 

Dr. thinks I am still depressed and would like to add Lamotrigine. I am thinking about it rather than flat out refusing. I can still enjoy my feelings but they are not too high or too low. I don't even get the shopper's high I used to get. That's ok. I recently did a closet purge and tried on every single thing to make sure I just kept things that made me feel good and still fit. I got rid of 7 garbage bags of clothes and shoes. Stuff with the tags on it, high end pieces like Marc Jacobs and Calvin Klein. I cringe to think how much money I threw away but I am lighter and happier for it.

It's getting late and this will bite me in the ass later. I blame the cofee I had around noon today. So I'm writing again and will keep better care of this blog. I am really inspired by Emma Forrest. Just finished "Your Voice In My Head". She has had quite a glamorous career of it and she has Bi Polar. I also read Margaret Trudeau's memoir "Changing my Mind". I got a lot out of it. Mainly that Everyone is different and getting an acurate diagnosis for your Bi Polar takes a long time and is very intricate. To get enough sleep and excersize anything to keep the good hormones like dopamine up. Having the right kinds of therapies, Psychiatry, Emotional Therapy, Yoga and Meditation. You should pick it up. It's great that more people are coming forward to live out loud with Bi Polar. 

I also went to a fantastic research day put on by the UBC Department of Psychiatry. It was about Bipolar and Creativity, there was a film shown, a music night and then a research day where I met some fantastic people who are living with Bi Polar and also have creative outlets. Check them out for more research opportunities and events. 

CREST.BD – Collaborative RESearch Team to study psychosocial Issues in Bipolar Disorder

 I was too depressed to write. I know I said I would share those ugly moments but I just couldn't. It's safer to share them afterwards.