Forgive Me Blogger
Forgive me Blogger for it has been 2+ years since I last wrote! I have broken every promise I have made when I started this writing and god bless Google for storing it in this dark dusty corner of the interweb dust cloud it maintains for me. I've reached out to a couple of people and no one wants to take this on. (I know my bestie Tara would but she is building her house by herself! so I'll wait for her break IF she takes one. T! if you have time to read this you have time to call me!! I've had to take the month off to recover from pnuemonia. My friend Christine died on Saturday, a long goodbye and I was ordered back to bed a few days before she died so it feels unfinished somehow. But hey! I just have to think of her and what she went through and I really don’t have anything to complain about, I am heartbroken and sad and relieved that she’s not suffering anymore. Mostly I am a coughing puking phleghm-y Peri menopausal, super highly irritated tired hot sweaty stinky P my pants every time I cough mess. And I have been bleeding having my period 3+ weeks it goes away then I have a coughing fit and it comes back, how much more can I bleed!!!! so I am under house arrest while I deal with my health and my other demons (CLUTTER, FILTH, MY BODY FLUIDS, STUFF). Christine died and I am thinking about the hours of non income generating soul sucking hours I have spent on social media. I wanted to be more, live more. Participate be more awake and conscious. My priorities are all out of whack! I am off my meds for almost a year still on an anti-depressant and wondering if I should ween myself off of that as well?? My health is bad, pre-diabetic, non alcoholic liver disease. overweight. If I died tomorrow what would I leave behind? other than crushing debt, a beautiful family a cute house and about $100k wardrobe of Gap, JCrew, Eileen Fisher, Winners, TJMAX discount finds. I'm going to count what I have. I am taking back my life! Imma be me! I am not a stand up comedian but I had a short career as a performer. Now I am a parent, recluse just pushing paper and punching the clock. I want to live out loud, my health is signaling me to make some deep changes and do a deep cleaning of my soul. Half way through 50 and my dear friend 54 ish died a long senseless cancerous death.
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