Time out

My mind was full and I had a ton of groovy insights to share and then I sat down and got distracted by the J Crew email I got about their sale and free shipping and poof it's all gone. I am on a break from my daughter for the moment. Things have been going mostly well except for when we try to go somewhere in the car, she has developed an aversion to the car seat. She seems really uncomfortable getting into it. It could almost cause me to stay home or avoid going anywhere with her in the car. Her fussiness just sets me off and I snap. I have managed to contain it  but today I lost it when she does that "come here go away" thing. She was down for a nap and wouldn't settle. I went in twice to settle her and redo the blankets. She was pointing at her sleep sack and babbling so I took it off, she kicked her legs to get out of it too. So I put it up on her change table and she freaked out! I tried to calm her and said do you want it back on? and she continued to freak on me and I whipped the sleep sack on the railing of the crib and yelled "Stop It!".  That doesn't work. My husband came in and took over and I am taking a time out. Things have been going so well. I am more and more in love with her and our bond is slowly repairing itself. She's been really favoring my Husband for months. I am seeing a family and child therapist at the Alan Cashmore Centre and working on getting more coping skills and repairing our bond. But it's possible that when I was sick and over medicated for the first 5 months of her life there has been some damage done. I have tremendous guilt over this.

There's lots going on and even more to catch up on and I promise to stay more current. I may have to do multiple posts in one day to bring you up to speed.  Stay tuned and Stay well...