Let Go, Let Grandma do it

Tonight we are staying the night at Grandma's because my husband has to work late. We put the portable crib in her room so baby could sleep there and Grandma has agreed to do the night shift. After dinner we had our tub together and I gave her a bottle and she fell aseep on me with her hand on my breast like she use to when she nursed. It was so sweet. But then I had to ruin it and take her upstairs to put her to bed in Grandma's room . She cried and when I gave her to Grandma and pushed Grandma away and was looking at me. I felt horrible. But I had to leave the room and let Grandma do it. I mean come on! It's Grandma! How bad can that be? Grandma tried to soothe her a bit and then put her in the crib and let cry it out for five minutes at a time to see if she would tire herself and fall asleep. I think it worked because I can't hear any crying for awhile now. So I am feeling pretty shitty about giving her away for the night. But the alternative is to try and do it myself and then getting irritable and risk getting rough with her. She's been teething for about a month so my sleep has been screwed up and I am pretty irritable today. I feel like she's been a ragin all day (second bottom tooth is coming up) so life has not been fun during all this. If I can get a good night sleep tonight, baby will be happy to see me in the morning and I'll be well rested and happy to see her.

Tonight I found this great feature on the NY Times website called "Patient Voices" my friend Victoria Maxwell is on there. Check it out! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2008/07/16/health/healthguide/TE_BIPOLAR_CLIPS.html#