April

The writing has been in my heart and my head for some time. I need to spill it open. The blog will become my old black and white speckled note books, you know the ones by Mead? They are absolutely the best next to the Moleskines.

So three months and counting now and I am dying a creative death on my blue leather couch. It's been a downward spiral of "unemployment enjoyment". When I worked full time last year I would of loved all this time. It is a gift. Let's not waste it.

Most importantly I need to de-stress and de-toxify. 8 Years of terminally ill parents. 1 year legal battle, packing up and moving her to Vancouver, then almost two years of trying to supplement her care. I thought having her closer would make it easier but actually it was even more work. I had hoped I would just pop in for visits and take her to lunch or the theatre and do all the fun things while we paid for someone else to do the heavy lifting. But it was still up to me and even more so.

Thank God for my Husband and his Mother who picked up my slack. I was never able to be completely free with out the thoughts pressing me down that she was in the home and I was out and about. I tried to take care of her but I still have a huge amount of guilt and issues . This is turning into a long whiney rant and the point of this blog was to be creative in my blue period.