Emotional Rescue
My “ Gay Boyfriend “ and I. We broke up. I think He needed to be with a sweet submissive man. On the bottom. Under his thumb. Or he needed to make sure that all the women around him felt week and needy. I am a strong woman, strong like bull. Strong like a man. I hadn’t seen him for two years. I thought I would finally take a mental health holiday and get away from everything. SO what do I do? I Go to the Vietnam of humanity to make an emotional rescue.
I knew that there was going to be trouble when he wasn’t going to drive me to Van Nuys for a quick visit with some of my family and friends. He said “I will drive you anywhere but Van Nuys”. The other places he wanted to take me were not as far but almost. I jumped through all the hoops but I couldn’t pass all the tests of our friendship. But he shouldn’t blame me for being me. I finally told him to Fuck off and left for Van Nuys. I cried all the way on the new Los Angeles metro. Is that what he wanted? A nice man on the ride with me asked me if I was OK as we got off the metro. I told him “I just had a fight with my best gay friend, I’ll be OK ... Thanks.” In the movie version I ask him for money to get a rent a car to get back to Canada. He says “I don’t have any money but hey I’m making this film and there’s a part in it for a girl just like you. We don’t have much of a budget and there’s a little bit of nudity and some adult situations and ... well, this will probably go straight to video. So what do you think? Do you want to be in our little film? The pay is about a thousand bucks a day depending on what you are willing to do. That would get you a real nice flight home. HELL you could rent a private jet for that much.” I tried to come to Jim’s emotional rescue and all I got was a slap and a hug, a slap and a hug, a slap and a hug ... And an emotional guilt trip every time I tried to make a holiday out of a horrible situation and the horrible situation I got myself into. A big mistake!!! I was locked in a one room apartment not allowed to draw the blinds because it would get too hot. Not seeing the light of day till 5 or 7 in the evening. Not allowed to open the windows cause the aircon was on all day. Taking a sleeping pill so I would get a decent night sleep. I liked them way too much and unless I got out of there and I was going to be completely co-dependent on him for everything!
I knew that there was going to be trouble when he wasn’t going to drive me to Van Nuys for a quick visit with some of my family and friends. He said “I will drive you anywhere but Van Nuys”. The other places he wanted to take me were not as far but almost. I jumped through all the hoops but I couldn’t pass all the tests of our friendship. But he shouldn’t blame me for being me. I finally told him to Fuck off and left for Van Nuys. I cried all the way on the new Los Angeles metro. Is that what he wanted? A nice man on the ride with me asked me if I was OK as we got off the metro. I told him “I just had a fight with my best gay friend, I’ll be OK ... Thanks.” In the movie version I ask him for money to get a rent a car to get back to Canada. He says “I don’t have any money but hey I’m making this film and there’s a part in it for a girl just like you. We don’t have much of a budget and there’s a little bit of nudity and some adult situations and ... well, this will probably go straight to video. So what do you think? Do you want to be in our little film? The pay is about a thousand bucks a day depending on what you are willing to do. That would get you a real nice flight home. HELL you could rent a private jet for that much.” I tried to come to Jim’s emotional rescue and all I got was a slap and a hug, a slap and a hug, a slap and a hug ... And an emotional guilt trip every time I tried to make a holiday out of a horrible situation and the horrible situation I got myself into. A big mistake!!! I was locked in a one room apartment not allowed to draw the blinds because it would get too hot. Not seeing the light of day till 5 or 7 in the evening. Not allowed to open the windows cause the aircon was on all day. Taking a sleeping pill so I would get a decent night sleep. I liked them way too much and unless I got out of there and I was going to be completely co-dependent on him for everything!
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