Friday Night Girl
Mood - on the up
Meds - 250 mg Seraquel taken at around 8pm
Scary to admit that because "they" (My team) may want to up my dosage of Seraquel a notch, I have been LO, tearful in my sessions, drugged out zombie as if I was on a much higher dosage. 250mg is for wimps! Some people need over a thousand mg to control this. I weigh about 200 lbs and it knocks me in half. I lose motor function, I have to sleep 12 hours to get it out of my system. SO if I don't stay up ALLLL night, that's good. The PPD (Post Partum Depression) has been good. I am coping even though my baby has rejected my boob all day, I am not crazy sad about it. I am going to La Leche next week to see how I can get her back on the boob and I am going to go back to the pump. She has had a cough for weeks, Dr has seen her and she's ok, could be allergies, they run in the family, so I will mix in what little I make so she gets something from me. At six months I have to re-examine this and quit and go on Lithium. I want to stay on the Seraquel because I can breast feed. It's been proven safe as I make very little anyway due to a breast reduction and it doesn't pass on to the milk. I will post some research I found through a pharmacist in Victoria in a later post.
When I was in Hospital and when I am in my sessions and they keep telling me I am going to be medicated for the rest of my life I wanted to read something about this where people talked about their experiences. It's often written from the place when they are well or healed already.
I am very fortunate to call this woman a friend. When I was in the hospital she talked me down off the ceilings when I joined the BPD Club. Thanks to her I am not afraid of writing this. She is working on her third play, her blog on Psychology Today about being BP and dating and all that goes with it is a daily read for me, she is constantly touring and advocating for the BPD Club. Victoria Maxwell
SO far I have read a few books memoirs about PPD and Bi Polar and each experience is so unique new york. Ya Know? No one is going to have the exact same reaction as me.
One book I had high hopes for and really enjoyed. She did write about the really dark places you can go with PPD and BPD. She was very humorous about it all. Lots of lost sleep. But how dark can you go without Child Protection Services knocking on your door? She has a website "Dooce", had another baby, met Gwyneth P the other day because Gwyneth is so tuned in on GOOP she featured Heather on her Blog. I like Heather's voice, she gives me hope. Both Gals are hip and stylish Mums.
Another BP memoir, she had delusions about being a flea ridden cat. I don't have that.
"Detour - My BiPolar Road Trip in 4D" by Lizzie Simon.
I hear a voice in my head but it's MINE and it's fast or slow and lately has been writing and composing posts for this blog. I think a sign of when I am manic, I will be journalling and have to use one side of the page for the "Here and Now" and one side for the "Sidetracks" all the other places my thoughts go when I have too many at one time.
I found great comfort in this book in her interviews and the last few pages where she summarizes and tries to tie it all together. She has become the young face of Bipolar Disorder and an Advocate. Check her out.
"Down Came the Rain" by Brooke Sheilds
Man she went through hell to get pregnant, she had PPD bad. Tom Cruise was such an arse about it. Glad that he has apologized to B. Wonder how K handled it all after Suri was born. I hope she through milk cartons at his head like Heather B.
My husband wants to be the one to go back to work so. So be it. I have since turned down three job possibilities but my baby is only 4 months. One of us has to work. like NOW! So then I will take the nights to blog it out and try to finish by midnight.
The mornings will be hers ( Baby's ) the Afternoons will be His ( Husband's ) and the nights when they have gone to bed will be MINE! 30 mins till my carriage arrives to take me away. It will be a scramble but Cinderella has to go to bed.
Meds - 250 mg Seraquel taken at around 8pm
Scary to admit that because "they" (My team) may want to up my dosage of Seraquel a notch, I have been LO, tearful in my sessions, drugged out zombie as if I was on a much higher dosage. 250mg is for wimps! Some people need over a thousand mg to control this. I weigh about 200 lbs and it knocks me in half. I lose motor function, I have to sleep 12 hours to get it out of my system. SO if I don't stay up ALLLL night, that's good. The PPD (Post Partum Depression) has been good. I am coping even though my baby has rejected my boob all day, I am not crazy sad about it. I am going to La Leche next week to see how I can get her back on the boob and I am going to go back to the pump. She has had a cough for weeks, Dr has seen her and she's ok, could be allergies, they run in the family, so I will mix in what little I make so she gets something from me. At six months I have to re-examine this and quit and go on Lithium. I want to stay on the Seraquel because I can breast feed. It's been proven safe as I make very little anyway due to a breast reduction and it doesn't pass on to the milk. I will post some research I found through a pharmacist in Victoria in a later post.
When I was in Hospital and when I am in my sessions and they keep telling me I am going to be medicated for the rest of my life I wanted to read something about this where people talked about their experiences. It's often written from the place when they are well or healed already.
I am very fortunate to call this woman a friend. When I was in the hospital she talked me down off the ceilings when I joined the BPD Club. Thanks to her I am not afraid of writing this. She is working on her third play, her blog on Psychology Today about being BP and dating and all that goes with it is a daily read for me, she is constantly touring and advocating for the BPD Club. Victoria Maxwell
SO far I have read a few books memoirs about PPD and Bi Polar and each experience is so unique new york. Ya Know? No one is going to have the exact same reaction as me.
One book I had high hopes for and really enjoyed. She did write about the really dark places you can go with PPD and BPD. She was very humorous about it all. Lots of lost sleep. But how dark can you go without Child Protection Services knocking on your door? She has a website "Dooce", had another baby, met Gwyneth P the other day because Gwyneth is so tuned in on GOOP she featured Heather on her Blog. I like Heather's voice, she gives me hope. Both Gals are hip and stylish Mums.
"It Sucked and then I Cried" by Heather B Armstrong
"Detour - My BiPolar Road Trip in 4D" by Lizzie Simon.
I hear a voice in my head but it's MINE and it's fast or slow and lately has been writing and composing posts for this blog. I think a sign of when I am manic, I will be journalling and have to use one side of the page for the "Here and Now" and one side for the "Sidetracks" all the other places my thoughts go when I have too many at one time.
I found great comfort in this book in her interviews and the last few pages where she summarizes and tries to tie it all together. She has become the young face of Bipolar Disorder and an Advocate. Check her out.
"Down Came the Rain" by Brooke Sheilds
Man she went through hell to get pregnant, she had PPD bad. Tom Cruise was such an arse about it. Glad that he has apologized to B. Wonder how K handled it all after Suri was born. I hope she through milk cartons at his head like Heather B.
My husband wants to be the one to go back to work so. So be it. I have since turned down three job possibilities but my baby is only 4 months. One of us has to work. like NOW! So then I will take the nights to blog it out and try to finish by midnight.
The mornings will be hers ( Baby's ) the Afternoons will be His ( Husband's ) and the nights when they have gone to bed will be MINE! 30 mins till my carriage arrives to take me away. It will be a scramble but Cinderella has to go to bed.
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