Kissing Frogs

Parker from my post "Parker and me and the affair that never was an Affair".

I saw him! I saw him on the sea wall with a woman and a baby carriage! Woa! THINGS HAVE CHANGED!!!! It took a couple of seconds after I passed him to realize I just saw my bad habit of many years, my "Mr Big". He was kind of like that for me.

Ha!

I just squinted at him, and he squinted at me, and I just passed by.

At least I was running with my dog at the time. I was about a month into my new fitness regime. Walk a song and run a song on my 5 year old ipod that has 2200 songs on it.

Last time I saw him from across the grocery store, I was hugely fat and practically dropped my basket and ran out of the store. I cared more then than I do now, HONEST!

One always wants to run into and old,.. I'm not sure what to call him.
(Someone who aggravated me for years, yanked my chain? tried to make me his booty call when in town?)

You want to at least appear that you have it all and things are so much better now they are not in your life.

It's seven years later and I am remembering the fantasy I had. I was much more imaginative then. TV is my secret lover now. I dreamt that he would choose me, sever all ties with the others and whisk me away to what I pictured was that beautiful "Carrie and Big" SATC kind of romance in NY. I was more in love with that than the actual person who would call me on his way home from a fabulous night out or keep tabs on me at parties so if he didn't score better he would at least "score" with me. Terrible to admit that to the WWW out there!

I did finally come to my senses back then. He was a crappy friend, we were terrible in bed together and I finally told him to GO AWAY!

Funny! he was surprised at the anger I unleashed in my final phone message. So much anger that I think he emailed instead of calling said "How surprised he was about my feelings, he had work commitments he had to honor, blah blah blah"...

Just one of those frogs, you know?

Thinking about most of the guys I was after at that time, there seemed to be a pattern.
A director, a writer, actor... they were all working and successful in a creative field that I wanted to try for myself. Their work always came before me. Whereas I was always willing to drop whatever I was doing, to be available to them.

So now I am happily married to a wonderful man who treats me well. I was trying to think if I had a "long lost love" or one that got away and I don't. I caught him and I am glad.